pigs

i don't like going into the pet store and seeing those big containers of pigs ears. it bothers me seeing them knowing that there are all these deaf pigs out there.

soda

soda water is pretty cool. it's just water but fizzy. i think a soda water lake or river would be pretty cool. it would be fun to swim in it. i bet those bubbles could really tickle your hemorrhoids.

donut blower

this guy at the bus stop was eating a cream filled donut. at one point he bit into it and pulled this really puckered face. i recognized that face. it's the face of a super sweet product that is making your teeth hurt like hell. as i stared at him some more i wondered if it really was the donut that was doing this to him or if he was actually giving a blow job to the invisible man.

white shit

we were sitting around talking about the 80's when one of my friends said 'i used to see a lot of white dog shit back in the 80's but not anymore. whatever happened to white dog shit on the street'. it made me laugh. it was true. i remember seeing my fair share of white and beige colored dog shit. thats when i told him about the beige colored stick that i picked up to throw at someone and that turned out not to be a stick. it was a odd moment and for a second i thought my hands could melt wood.

butts

the other day while walking downtown i saw this guy walking around yelling shit in french. he was wearing plastic bags on his feet. they weren't name brand. just some regular plain white plastic bags but they looked a couple of sizes too big. it got me thinking about how he ended up in that position. maybe it was one thing that made him snap or a lifetime of problems that accumulated in him on the streets. he wasn't asking for money he was mostly scanning the ground looking for plump cigarette butts. at one point he caught sight of a good one. only half smoked and still burning. his eyes light up as he held it up. it almost felt like i was watching one of those Saturday morning fishing shows where the guys pull the fish into the boat and raise the fish while saying 'this a good 10 pounder it's a beauty' instead the guy put the cigarette to his mouth took a big long drag and then said something which i think translated to 'just way too many newspapers'.

whenever a bird comes close to the window our cat goes into attack mode. it's purely innate. centuries of animal instincts kicking in. it's rather impressive to watch until he realizes that the he is a house cat and the bird is free and he will never get the chance to catch it. then i feel guilty about locking him up like a prisoner so i try to make it up to him by downloading crazy underground german porn and buying lots of vodka. unfortunately it doesn't seem to be cheering him up. which is strange cause it's the happiest i have been in years.