wash

i bought this body wash. their logo is 'the eye opener'. after this mornings shower experience i think they should rewrite it to 'the eye opener except when you get it in your eyes. then you will be temporarily blinded and it will burn like a salt laced q-tip in the urethra of your penis. you may scream. you may fall down and bang your head on the faucet of the shower. your dick will clog the drain and the tub will fill up eventually flooding the bathroom. the water will flood the room making the floor collapse. the tub will crash through landing in the bathroom of the downstairs neighbors who are having sex with a poodle named Gary. when you wake up you will be tied up in a cage in your neighbors basement. they will call you 'slave boy' and the only thing they will feed you is rice krispies and you hate rice krispies cause they remind you of maggots'.
that would sell a few bottles.