swine flu, bird flu, monkey virus, sars, west nile, east nile, bird cock virus, donkey dick virus, cow tongue virus, bat droppings in your cola virus, giraffe licked your windshield at the zoo virus, elephant took a massive dump and you laughed virus, police horse shit on the road virus, stuttering parrots virus, squirrel in my garbage virus, pigeons eating cigarette butts virus.

it's all part of the big plan to reduce the line ups at the car wash.