true

doppelganger gang bangs. it's all the rage

plants

i talk backwards to my plants so i can watch them shrink

give thanks

you never see anyone ever thank the parachute, instead they just roll it up and pack it into the backpack. That's why they don't open from time to time. they're pissed off. they do all this shit and get fuck all. like the housewife that fucks the gardener they eventually lose it. so, even though i don't parachute (or have good grammar) i'd like to thank all the parachutes of the world for having stopped people legs from going through their shoulders. i thought they needed a voice, like the whales.

memory

i have a bad memory. i wrote that down somewhere.

sale

when people are selling their homes their often bake bread or cookies when people are seeing it. apparently the fresh baked smell makes people feel like the house has a lived in and family feel to it. i'm not sure what you do if you are trying to sell a bakery.

sticker

i saw a bumper sticker that said 'a dog is for life not just for christmas'. i thought it was a very good message. i imagine that the chinese version is similiar except 'christmas' has been replaced with 'breakfast'.

80's

in the 80's the 'we are the world' song was popular. i think the words were 'we are the world. we are the children. we are the ones who make a better day so lets start giving'. i hated that fucking song. it always made me feel guilty and that i had to be doing something other than masturbating to the price is right.
back then they often ran commercials on tv for starving children in africa. they always stressed that what they needed was money to buy food but when i saw the commercials i thought that they should also invest a few dollars to buy some fly swatters.